For this exercise I am going to use what has already happened to me in creating a piece of work. I am also going to undertake a drawing that may or may not be included in my body of work, dependent on how it goes!
The first drawing I take to the limits is a drawing I did in part 1. The drawing as it was originally is below. It is titled ‘Fear’
My tutor sent me details of an animation website and I have been testing out how to do animation. She thought this work might suit such a step. However I’ve been doing an animation of facial expressions and I may submit this if good enough. This drawing however did turn into something else. By chance at the top of this drawing there was more space and I did intend to slice the top off. The more I looked at the drawing the more I wanted to push it further and I decided to use the top. I began to put a ceiling into the drawing which in some ways would make it darker. Once the ceiling was in, the line wasn’t quite right so I guess this is where I’d taken it to another limit and had to adjust it. The ceiling began to look good but I wanted even more drama. We did have a pendant light in the kitchen of this house so I decided to put this in too and I risked some chalk to exude the light. Returning to this drawing was quite emotional on two fronts. The child in this picture was me when I was around the age of ten. I lived in a household where domestic violence prevailed, and one night was sick through fear of what was to happen. It’s strange that I’ve drawn the mat as a good likeness and some memories can be quite vivid. The mat was a plastic woven mat It was a bit of an emotional journey to get to the final drawing as I really didn’t want to ruin it. Although I had mixed emotions I felt also quite confident that I could bring it back and I think this stood me in good stead to push the work further. I’m far less afraid now and less timid in executing my work. Even if there was an accident and I spilled paint all over it, I believe in myself enough that I can do another one, hopefully, just as good. If the worst came to the worst I could chop the top off as I intended to do.
The final drawing is below.
I think the image is improved with the changes. The darkness of the ceiling adds more depth to the drawing and the light serves as almost a spotlight on the figure. The darkness on the left wall and the ceiling also serve to frame the scene. I have already documented this but one of the things that has been crucial in my journey so far is that I really don’t need to depict gruesome images such as injuries on dead children. This project is more about the emotional responses to the drawings and in many ways getting the balance right in terms of also celebrating these children’s beauty, and albeit their short lives. There are two main reasons for the change. My tutor helped me to reach this point through her suggested artists that I considered, in particular the work of Marlene Dumas. I have written up extensive notes on Dumas in my tutor feedback report. The second reason is the research and making the work. Reading some of the inquiry reports and getting closer to the real children and what happened to them, there was no way I could really draw them with injuries. Kentridge did do this in quite an unusual way through his animations and this does stop you in your tracks and invoke emotions but I guess the reality is, we know it is a narration in animation and this helps us deal with our feelings.
Endless Possibilities 